What Scares Me...

...is that I am too worn out to care anymore. I have so much to say, to write. It's simmering here, somewhat unpatiently, just waiting to pour out. But the energy, god the energy it takes to tap into those emotions, to face them, to deal with them. It's beyond that which I am capable of right now. I sat tonight with every hope of writing something moving (to me, at least), to recapture some of the ease with which the words once flowed. But the page sits empty still. I spent that needed effort already on societal survival, on playing the corporate game, on cleaning, cooking, being normal. And now it's time for what's critical, for what truly matters, and I have nothing left for it.

That scares me.

The wind howls outside, an awesome display of power. Unbridled, untamed, undefined except by that which it moves.

The magnitude of that is not lost on me.

Originally posted 2-14-07

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